NeoFreeZone

Къде сте емигранти
излязохме по джанти
някои се върнаха без панти, откачени
други с житейски диаманти, просветени
едни оцеляли, трети с парични преводи живяли
и там и тук, живота е един голям метален чук
важното е да му правиш на пук

може да слугуваме
но поне пътуваме
на различието се любуваме
зло не пророкуваме

за хората останали в БГ- e
и на вас не ви е зле
само така ви се струва
не знаете как света гладува

елате да видите
как българската нация робува
душевно сиракува
за връщане в България балнува
деца и баби се сбогуват
с бащи и майки в skype общуват

капиталистическият карнавал
обсебил българина невидял
забравил бързо социалния си идеал
за лукс, удобства
живота си продал.

Rosh-Li

My first word was “NO”, my mama told me so.

I feel a special connection with these two letters. The longer I stare at society, the more I realise the importance of this simple sound.

It takes time to learn how to use the word properly. That can be easily explained, most people spend their first 18 years being taught how to avoid the word “NO”: at home, in school, etc. After that, they try for another 18 years to bring it back in their dictionaries whilst dealing with their partners, bosses and friends. Useless exercise, I admit. I call this the “undo” effect.

Anyway, it is the way it is. What should be done:

Follow your instincts. There is no harm in using the word. You don’t need society’s approval. It’s easy, every time you have to make a decision, just stop for a minute and ask yourself: “Am I doing this because I really want or need it and I truly believe that I’ll benefit from saying “YES” or am I serving someone else’s interest? Is it a habit? If it is, what is it giving me and how much is it taking?

Just say “NO” when:

• you don’t feel doing it, but you are already half naked in bed
• you are about to put the weird looking high heeled shoes that most women wear (they are dangerous, unpractical, uncomfortable and they slow you down. Why torture yourself? )
• you had enough of that splif

You get me…

It will be great if more people, especially females, learn how to say “NO” to random desires led by bad influences and say “YES” to themselves. Follow examples that are worth following. The majority is not always right. Think about it…

why I feel so worthless … so “unnecessary”. Is the only way to live in harmony with yourself by identifying with another person? Or is this just a way to keep your thoughts busy so they don’t ask you inconvenient questions?

I’m born neither a native speaker nor a native writer, but I use language and I have thoughts that I need to express. This is the beginning of my writing therapy, something to keep me on the ground until I find a way to fly, this time for real.

Two years…two years a prisoner of my own thoughts, prison I invented myself…now that I think of it it might be longer than that. I don’t even remember when was the last time I felt so free and able to exercise my rationality. Is it something I’m able to do only when I’m on my own? Can I actually hear my thoughts when I’m close to somebody else? Do I want my life to be marked by reason or mediocrity or shall I aim for the balance?… balance is vague..nothing interesting happens when things are balanced. I shouldn’t say that though. It goes against all my “beliefs” correction all my “false beliefs”. False beliefs…interesting, makes you think, doesn’t it? The origin of my beliefs…is it the beliefs or the purpose they serve, what is more important? … I think the second … Efficiency in this age is crucial. The beginning of the 20th century was dedicated to drama, now we all try to quietly live through our personal hardships without drawing attention, society says it’s a sign of weakness and waste of time. In a monetary system time is valuable commodity, not important but valuable … it’s ironic, pure example of false belief and inefficiency.